It's been a few days since I've posted, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten my challenge. I have missed a few days due to travel. I don't like anyone to see me meditate (I think I look silly) so sharing a room with my mom wasn't very condusive to meditating. I made sure to meditate today, though. I had a dinner date with my family and, since I tend to be a little quiet and withdrawn during family meals, I decided to try to get happy before the dinner. I got to the restaurant early and spent 10 minutes in my car smiling and focusing on the sound of the rain on the roof. I love the sound of rain, don't you? It was very relaxing. I think I succeeded in my goal since I was pretty smiley when I went in the restaurant (even after being soaked). Unfortunately, things went downhill kind of quickly. I felt a little insulted moments after greeting my family and that kind of ruined my good mood.
I have been trying so hard lately to release the woman I'm in love with. She needs to gain some self-confidence and self-esteem and I can't help her with that. I have tried, but it's something she needs to do herself. No one can make her believe she's beautiful and worthwhile. So, I've been trying to let her go into God's hands. I believe God can reach her heart and soul where I can't, so whenever I think about her, I pray for her. I've been praying a lot. I think it's a good thing, though. God and I don't talk often enough. Praying for her problems prompts me to pray for my own release and I think God's the only one who can truly change my heart, too.
Between the meditation and the prayer (and the talking to her less), my heart has been a more restful place. For the most part. Money problems are getting me down and family problems always bog down my spirits, but I am trying to focus on the future and the positive. I'm going to share a poem with you tonight. It's Shel Silverstein's The Land of Happy.
Have you been to The Land of Happy,
Where everyone's happy all day,
Where they joke and they sing
Of the happiest things,
And everything's jolly and gay?
There's no one unhappy in Happy,
There's laughter and smiles galore.
I have been to The Land of Happy-
What a bore!
What a great reminder to you and me that life's most entertaining moments are not found in peace and happiness. The pain of the trenches and crawling through metaphorical mud make much better stories. No matter how much you're hurting in whatever life is throwing at you and no matter how much you wish for a life without pain or drama, just remember that what you're living through will make a great story, today or tomorrow. A life without pain is boring. Friends bring pain, pets bring pain, family brings pain. Money, food, cars, houses, all things can bring you pain. But without those things and relationships, what would our lives be worth living for?